every night after the end of their comeback, phainon falls into a routine that the rest of his members dread.
at night, they'll hear him pace around his room. they'll roll their eyes, lament the fact that they live in dorms, then one out of the other five will try to get him to stop thinking about work.
last comeback it was dan heng, his logical comforts and reminders that they've worked hard and deserve to get some rest managed to ease him into a peaceful sleep.
this time, it's mydei, and he's squeezing his face to get him to stop whining.
"ow, ow, ow, ow—!”
"stop. fucking. pacing," mydei says. he's dodging phainon's hands, which are trying and failing to capture his face. "it's driving us nuts!"
phainon makes a pathetic sound. "i can't help it. i can't fall asleep when i feel so antsy!"
"find something else to do. go to sleep. do anything except work!"
phainon sputters. really, he has no logical explantion why he feels like he should be working even after promotions and performances are done. he just likes to be prepared for the worst! all things well prepared are bound to be successful. their fans only deserve the best. as the leader, he can't afford failure. failure just leads to disappointment.
their fans are kind and accepting, but yet, that paranoia persists. that sinister, illogical what if.
"i just need to sweat this out," phainon says instead. "i'll go to the gym."
before he could enact on said sweating, mydei squeezes his head.
"no."
phainon blinks.
"huh?"
mydei drags him back to his bed and all but throws him in it. phainon sits up with an insult on his tongue, but mydei shoves him back.
"you need to sleep. if i catch you working or even planning idol related on our month long break…"
a derisive pause. mydei must be flicking through the litany of threats he can use tonight as he looms over him.
"i'm telling aglaea."
phainon stiffens. oh, aeons. the aglaea card.
mydei grins.
while most people fear their agency's CEO, idols under Chryso Ent. fear their vocal coach. aglaea, as kind as she is, is not afraid to be ruthless when she finds out the idols are not taking care of themselves. he can already imagine the disappointment on her face – eyes hidden behind tinted glasses, but the frown of her lips will make him feel guilty.
"i'll sleep. i'll sleep right now."
a satisfied nod. "good. we don't need our leader stressing out about nothing."
phainon lets out a sigh. "right, right."
mydei shakes his head, ruffling his hair before he leaves. "goodnight, phainon." he stands outside his doorway, looking over his shoulder. "and if i hear your door open tonight, i will throw you back in here and lock it."
his door shuts.
"prick," phainon mutters, flipping around to face his window.
his phone buzzes under his pillow. he opens his phone, squinting at the flash of light in the dark.
sunday: i doubt you'll be sleeping tonight
phainon: how right you are…
sunday: do you often listen to anything before falling asleep?
phainon: not really. i feel like that would keep me up even more. and what would i even listen to?
sunday: try asmr. there's some with people talking, or just satisfying sounds. you can also try nature sounds if you find that more appealing.
phainon: i'll try. thanks sunday
sunday: no problem. night
phainon falls into a mini rabbit hole about asmr videos. he definitely does not like ones where people are talking. the mouth sounds make him cringe and the so-called tingly feeling just freaks him out. some peoples voice aren't soothing – either trying too hard or just not for him.
some have roleplay, which did intrigue him, but perhaps he was too intrigued. he found himself paying more attention to the underlying plot of a video, promptly realizing that he's definitely not supposed to be paying much attention at the half hour point.
it's nearly 1 in the morning when he decides to give up the search and just scroll through the recommendations tab. perhaps the mechanical motion will make him fall asleep.
it doesn't, but it does however lead him to a particularly interesting video.
anaxadromas unintentional asmr moments.
phainon blinks at the title, body and mind still stuck between exhaustion and not wanting to sleep. he glances at the thumbnail, a picture of what phainon can safely assume is the subject with the title captioned in the center. neat, mint green hair paired with a neutral face, expressing nothing at all. his right eye is concealed by an eyepatch,
he's… so pretty, phainon thinks.
he clicks on the video.
the video starts with some captions, preluding what's to come.
over the course of many streams, i have painstakingly compiled every moment of anaxa being an unintentional asmr streamer.
i'm sure he'd say the same thing he does over and over again if he saw this video.
"why come to my streams if you're just going to fall asleep for most of it?"
for a moment, phainon's breath escapes him.
the streamer's voice is smooth, a little raspy. the way he spoke in that clip—chin resting on his palm, framing a smirking mouth, with a hand curling around his mic—was slow and soft despite its bite. there's a certain timbre to his voice that has phainon's stomach swooping.
it's not our fault he has such a nice voice.
anyways. sub to anaxadromas. he's live every other night if he isn't va-ing. and if he reaches 2,000 subs, he'll release us from our cage.
and support his latest cd drama: "my teacher can't be this shy!" so we can embarrass him on stream :P
a voice actor too, phainon thinks, in quiet awe. how cool.
the video fades and comes back with anaxa. he's leaned back in his chair, darkness encasing him, his monitor being his chat's only source of light. his hair almost looks white in the dark, but if phainon squints, he can see the minty-tint. it's loosely tied into a sorry excuse of a bun at the base of his neck, shorter hairs escaping and framing his face.
which, phainon swallows, is a very nice one.
anaxa squints at the chat, thin brows furrowing as he takes a sip out of his mug. he taps on the glass absentmindedly, nails softly clinking against the surface.
"it's chamomile this time," he says. phainon turns up the volume. "we're nearing the end for tonight. i thought i'd wind down after such a riveting stream." it's an inside joke lost to phainon. anaxa must be hinting at something that happened earlier.
a dry chuckle, smooth and unbearably attractive to phainon's poor, tired brain.
"you want some?" anaxa asks. "i ran out."
he sounds so close to the mic. he might as well be speaking into phainon's ear.
anaxa hums, the sound rumbling inside of phainon's own chest. "just a sip? i'm afraid what i have left isn't enough for all 1,335 of you. you'll have to manage on your own." he taps the glass again, and breathes out softly.
inexplicably, phainon's eyes feel a bit heavy.
"mm, i think next stream we can start that choice based game you've all been begging me to play." he takes a sip. "yes, high cloud. i watched the trailer. i've heard it has a rich storyline, still holding up to today's standards despite it being an older game. we'll see if that's true tomorrow."
one final sip. ceramic meets the top of anaxa's desk as the streamer softly sighs.
"i think that'll be all today." his eyes skim the chat, an amused smile on his face. "yes, yes. good night to you all too."
the video swiftly moves on to the next clip with anaxa typing away on his keyboard in silence. it's dimly lit with the overhead lights off, but in the background of his facecam, his room contains a collection of ambient lights. from lamps, string lights, candles – and the city sitting serene over his shoulder. phainon stares out. a colorful array of sparkling still-lit city windows, the slow shuffle of headlights and taillights, lamp posts burning the midnight hour.
phainon can close his eyes and imagine he's sleeping next to that same window, comforted by the mess of blankets anaxa has over his bed that looks far too soft and warm to leave. he lets himself fall back on the daydream, too exhuasted to realize he's dreaming about a complete stranger's bed. maybe he should invest in his own bedroom.
phainon digs his head deeper into his pillow, listening to the gentle, smooth taps of the keys. they almost sound buttery. maybe like clouds.
his eyes slip shut.
"patience, patience," anaxa chides. "you will get me for the next five hours after i reply to this."
by the time anaxa speaks again, phainon is already out.
a phone call pulls anaxa out of an already forgotten dream.
he answers without looking, only knowing two people who would dare to disturb his rest.
"is this calypso or hyacine?" he asks, falling back on his stomach.
"morning, teacher!"
anaxa sets the phone on speaker, letting it drop to the side of his head.
"ah, hyacine." a yawn. "why are you calling me so early?"
hyacine chuckles. anaxa, mind still sifting between dreams, imagines a small pink bird chirping. "it's afternoon."
another yawn escapes him as he tucks himself further into bed. a glance at his clock tells him it's well into the afternoon, but he can probably fall back asleep for an hour or two before he has to be a human being.
"what is it."
"did you get a text from calypso? she said she'll be on her way."
his eyes snap open, the promises of sleep slipping through his fingers.
"she'll be dropping something off for you. i think she said it was a suprise? she seemed very excited about it though."
anaxa scowls. an excited calypso is nothing to look forward to, esspecially when she is en route and in range of his apartment.
as his agent and close friend (unfortunately) calypso get a strange kick out of giving anaxa ridiculous roles he would never choose for himself. one time, he had voice a sweaty, perverted mob that appeared in six episodes. another time, he played the role of a love-sick worm who practically lived in private chat servers, whose lines were so cringy he almost vomited in the recording booth.
calypso's most recent offense was his latest role for an R18 CD drama adaptation of a manga. he played the role of a shy, blushing teacher who failed to have a spine – weak to the advances of a dumb jock gym teacher. boring tropes, godawful cringy lines.
but his fans seemed to eat it up and make fun of him for it all the same. little shits.
he won't bat an eye to an explicit role. moaning into a mic and whispering dirty things just comes with the job. but he would rather moan until his throat goes sore than have to record a potential second volume again.
but anaxa is both professional and prideful. he will not back down from a challenge and he will not let calypso get the upper hand. the satisfaction anaxa gets when he sees her face fall at the sight of him fully embracing these embarassing roles is a sweet victory he'll never get tired of. besides, he is actually curious to how embarassing of a role he can take, and how we'll he can do it.
the pay is also quite nice.
and calypso usually gives him normal, exciting roles.
he just never knows when.
"fine," he says, sitting up. "i'm up."
"great! by the way, are you streaming tonight?"
anaxa stretches, swinging his legs out from his blankets. "depends if calypso decides to torture me or not."
hyacine laughs. "i'm sure it's fine. good luck, teacher."
after ending the call, anaxa goes through his morning routine: brushing his teeth and collapsing on his couch.
he doesn't even get a second to recline when she knocks on his door.
anaxa drags himself with a groan, opening the door.
"a little smile would be nice," calypso greets, stepping inside with a swish of her dress and wavy hair as if she pays rent here. he notices a folder peeking out of her bag as she slips out of her flats.
he shuts the door and opens the side closet for her spare pair of slippers. "if you want a smile, i suggest going to the cafe across the street." he plops them down and collapses on his couch with a sigh.
calypso settles her self on the other side.
"you're here in person," he notes. "you must be desperate."
she smiles. a knowing, twisted smile. anaxa scowls at it. "we've done this little song and dance before."
"whatever you're offering, i'm saying no."
calypso chuckles. "you are only delaying the inevitable." she pauses, surveying him. he doesn't know what she wants to find through outward appearances alone. any tell of curiosity is quelled by a mask of indifference. "the role is simple. explicit, but normal."
though, anaxa has to admit that she's right. he is delaying the inevitable.
he scoffs at her confidence. "what makes you think i'll even like the role?"
in the bag, she takes out the script and hands it to him. "skim the script first," she says. "then tell me what you think."
eyeing her with suspicion, anaxa takes the script as if it was a bomb about to explode.
"fine," he mutters.
LORDIAN Studios
Dawn of Devotion
he flips through the pages, expecting another explicit role. maybe involving tentacles or medical malpractice or inanimate objects because he has yet to do those. however, when he isn't hit with the immediate jump into sex, he slows down.
calypso must have sensed the change in him because when he glances at her, her smile is subdued, but no less taunting.
from a quick skim, it seems to be an easy sci-fi romance story between